Thursday, November 18, 2010

If my heart wasn't already broken...

This is a picture that my little sister drew a little while ago.

If you can't read it it says
My family
- Me Mom Dad (Happy) Happy Happy
My family without my Dad (Sad)
- Me Mom Sad Sad Very Sad

(and then there's a dinosaur or something beside my mom - not sure what that is? :) )

I am missing my dad lots right now. I don't mean to be depressing and don't even really tell people anymore. I know people think I/we should be "getting over it" already. It's been almost two years. But we miss him and feel his loss every single day.

I baked cookies with my little sister the other night. We talked about how dad liked black licorice allsorts. My sister and I would both always try them because they were so pretty and we liked the coloured candy parts but not the black licorice part.
She mentioned that she dreamt about dad the night before. I had dreamt about him as well so we thought that was kind of neat.

It makes me so sad that she doesn't have our dad for this part of her life. She doesn't have her daddy that she needs very much as she becomes a teenager. He won't be there to bug her about her crushes and her first boyfriend. He won't be there to bug the boys that come around and make them nervous when he takes his fake leg off.He's not here to help her make some of the most important decisions of her life. He won't be there to walk her down the aisle when she gets married.
Sad sad very sad.


  1. Oh my goodness, I'm tearing up. No little girl should have to draw pictures like that... Or any twenty-something woman either.

  2. So sad, reading the picture. I'm so sorry you guys have to walk this road.

  3. I'm so, so sorry Dana.

  4. :(

    Good that she is expressing it though. And that you can talk about him with each other.

    Now that we are past the one year point I feel like you... That people must be sick of hearing about how sad I am every single day without Dad, but I think the people who really love us are okay with it.

    My eyes have been opened to a whole world of grief though. I never expected that anything could hurt this bad for so long.

    Big hugs from me. Crying with you and praying for you and your little sis.

  5. Oh man. Just clicked on her picture to see it close-up. It's amazing how that picture just expresses everything so completely with hardly any words. It made me cry. For you guys and for us. If anyone asks me how I'm feeling and I have trouble explaining it that picture is what's going to pop into my head from now on. It's like a poem... Really beautiful in a very sad way.

  6. I'm sorry. Sorry that this sucks and there is nothing that I (or anyone) can do to change this...
    I'm glad your sister has you.
    I cannot imagine dealing with this alone.
    I'm glad you're making a point about talking about your dad and keeping his memory alive.
    love you lots.

  7. I should have called you-I was really missing my dad that week too-it'll be 3 years this Christmas.
    Joanne N.

  8. This IS so very sad! My heart still aches for all of you. I am just so glad that you/Laney have such wonderful memories to share.She is SOOO very lucky to have a sister and Mother as loving as you & Deb!
    We rely on each other in these times for strength AND support so just be there for one another. I'll keep you in my prayers.
    Love T