Saturday, June 19, 2010

2nd Father's Day

Tomorrow will be our second Father's Day with no dad. For some reason this year is worse than last.
Last year it was so new and fresh, it was really awful. But this year, because it's been so much longer and we know that it is really permanent and that he's really not ever coming back - it's even worse.

I am grateful for the 26 years I did have with my dad. He really was a wonderful man and the best dad a person could ask for. As much as I will celebrate the dad that he was, tomorrow will be bittersweet because we miss him, we wish he was here and we would like to celebrate with him.

I am so thankful that my husband is so understanding and knows that I am not thrilled for this holiday. Of course I realize that he is a dad and needs recognition as well. We will celebrate him tomorrow but it will be a sad day as well.

As I was looking at all the of the Father's Day cards in the store today, I saw all of the cute cards for Grandpa's and it made me sad that I couldn't get one for him from my kids.
Then I saw the cards for Daddy's from their little girls and it made me sad that my little sister doesn't have him around. She decided to miss the parts of school where they made crafts for their dads. How awful for her. How unfair.
Then I saw the cards for dad's from grown up kids. The long poems about all the special things they did and how thankful the kids are for having a wonderful, loving dad. And that made me sad for myself.
Then I saw the funny cards and it made me smile as I remembered all of the funny cards that my brother and I would get for my dad. We always tried to outdo each other with the funny cards to make dad laugh. He really did have the best sense of humor.

So, like so many other times and holidays, I am sad. But I am grateful.

I am truly thankful that God decided to make my dad my dad. Even thought it was shorter than I think it should have been. I wouldn't change it.