Friday, November 27, 2009

One of those days.

Today is one of those days where I wish I could have just stayed in bed.
My son is being three. (not obeying, getting into everything, won't eat what he's given, did I mention not obeying?). My house is a mess. My back is killing me. My daughter won't nap for longer than 1/2 an hour and is grumpy. I am tired. And I haven't seen my husband all week.
I feel guilty about complaining about that though. My mom never gets to see her husband again. (in this life). So what do I have to complain about?

I think I am just sad. My post on Sept.25 accurately describes how I am feeling today.

But I am still thankful.(It was American Thanksgiving yesterday after all) For everything God has given me. I have two beautiful, healthy children, a great husband, wonderful family, friends and neighbours, a warm house, food, and so much more than I deserve.

So I am sad, and thankful today.

Thursday, November 26, 2009


The other day, my little sister was over. We love to bake together. I started letting her add things into the bowl when she was two and she always asks if we can make something when she's over. So we made some pumpkin muffins. I had some leftover icing from a birthday so thought I'd let her and my son decorate the muffins. Healthier than cupcakes but still a "treat".

My son's masterpiece:

My little sister's:

I'm starting to get excited to do some Christmas baking! She told me she wants to make fudge this year...:)

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Out of the mouths of babes

My husband occasionally has a beer. Our son knows it is not a kids drink and to never try some. (But knows what it looks like) To further discourage him we thought we'd let him smell it. He ended up liking the smell. I thought he would think it was yucky. (because I do)
The other night we had a family supper to celebrate my little sister's birthday. Everyone was at my mom's house. The kids were at the table eating and my son had a glass of white grape juice. Everyone was talking and there was a pause, then nice and clear I heard my son say, "I WANT MORE BEER!"

Let's just hope he never has juice when we're at a lunch at church or something!

Friday, November 20, 2009


7:30 am. Son went to bed at 10:30 last night and was still up at 7. He is now drinking some milk and watching a dvd beside me. I let him watch dvd's first thing when I am really tired. (pretty much everyday) Baby girl is still asleep, although I heard her stirring through the monitor. I really need to get her on a regular routine. Maybe she would start sleeping though the night again?

I love reading blogs. When I have time. I have a few regular ones that I check out at least once a week. Some are friends of mine, some are friends of friends and some are just random people that I've seen links to from somewhere. Most of them are moms.
The ones I love are the ones that make me laugh, think or cry. They are real and honest and encouraging and help me realize that I'm not alone in this journey.

There are some that leave me feeling guilty or not good enough so I've stopped reading those. You know who they are; the supermoms who only give their kids organic food, take amazing photos, live in gorgeous houses, write beautifully, are talented and creative, are amazing Christians who inspire and are oh so Spiritual. They don't let their kids watch tv and they homeschool. When I read those blogs, I find myself lacking and not good enough. So I've stopped reading those ones.
I have enough guilt in my day to day life. I don't need someone I don't even know making me feel like my life isn't good enough. I know this is not their intent, but sometimes it seems like they are saying, "look at me, aren't I the best mom/wife/Christian/friend/neighbour?" I should feel inspired to do better, not inadequate.

Us moms have enough pressure. There is constant competition. My kid walked earlier, my kid talked earlier, look how well my kid behaves, my baby has always slept through the night, my 9 month old already has the books of the Bible memorized, watch my four year old play Moonlight Sonata, my three year old loves broccoli, my kid was potty trained at 1 year and so on. (of course these are exaggerations - I tend to do that a lot on here)

Of course I would write about accomplishments and feel proud of them, but I would want others to feel proud WITH me, not envious. And hopefully I would not appear boastful. So forgive me if I ever do seem boastful. I don't mean to.

Ok, I'm done. Forgive my ramble. I always start my post with one thought in mind and then end up going on about a another topic. That is the way my brain works.

It is now 8:30 am. I have since gotten my daughter up, helped my son do a puzzle, wiped two snotty noses, pet the Tiger (son) and watched him do some tricks, changed a diaper, explained to the Tiger why he cannot colour on the puzzle, and even had time to drink a cup of coffee.
And I think this is the fastest I have ever gotten a post done!

1 Thessalonians 5:11 (New International Version)

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Day something or other

I had two cookies today. Oh well. I haven't completely cut out sugar but am doing ok. I don't put any in my tea. I don't eat chocolate everyday. I let myself have a treat every once awhile because otherwise I will go crazy. Lately, we've been eating supper a bit later and then haven't been snacking at all in the evening, which is great!
I don't think I've lost any weight so far.
Nine months to put the weight on - should take around that to lose it.
I am jealous of women that lose all of their baby weight while breastfeeding. I am not like that. I have been breastfeeding my daughter for four months and have barely lost anything. It is not the miracle diet that all of the magazines say it is!

Monday, November 9, 2009


8 months.

Dear Dad,
I wish you could see my kids. I wish you could see how much they love each other already.

I wish you could have been at the birthday party yesterday. It was fun and loud and all the kids running around everywhere would have driven you crazy :)

I am almost done Christmas shopping, whenever I open a catalogue or go into a store I see something you would have liked. A huge flashlight with tons of gadgets on it or a canvas bag with a picture of a moose on it. I really wish you could have been here for the baby's first Christmas.

You are missing D's birthday soon. She will be 9. I remember the day she was born. You called me and told me I had a little sister, just like I'd always wanted. When I got to the hospital you were sitting in the rocking chair holding her close and had the hugest smile on your face. You and mom were so happy!
She is a great little girl.

You are missing so much. We are missing you so much.

I read a book about Heaven. It helped a bit. You are happy there. You probably don't miss us like we miss you. You know we will be there in the blink of an eye. But right now, here, we'd rather have you with us.

I'll try to remember that you are happy. I'll try not to be selfish.

Wish you were here.

Nov.9, 09

Sometimes I feel like if I let myself cry, I will never stop.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Day 3 so far

Yesterday was not so good. I am a stress eater and gave in and had some chocolate. ugh. We are all sick with colds so it was a long day.
I sent the Halloween candy to my husband's work so at least it's out of here. Today has been good so far though. I need to not worry about messing up and just keep going.
I've decided that I have to have fruit on this diet. I'm supposed to be eliminating anything that has sugar, natural or not. However, I am breastfeeding and figure that I need my fruit. Plus with all of the sickness going on around here, the vitamins etc will be helpful. This morning we had a strawberry-mango smoothie. It was yummy and totally satisfied my sugar craving.

I had pretty much decided that we would take my son and get him immunized against the H1N1 flu. We were going to go today, but now have to wait until this cold is gone. So I will probably change my mind a million more times.

It is supposed to be warm out today so we are going to get out and go for a nice long walk and maybe go to the park to play. Hoping today is a better day!

I think this is the longest I've gone without crying. It's been at least 5 days. Wonder what that means...

My son wanted to write a story too: (he's learning his letters)

Monday, November 2, 2009

Day 1

It's only 9:18am.
Day 1 of my sugar free diet. I am already craving it.
The Halloween candy is taunting me.
I want a cup of tea with milk and sugar. I want a lemon poppyseed muffin and toast with homemade strawberry jam.

I can do this. I have willpower. I am a bridesmaid in May. I can do this.