Friday, July 20, 2012

Life with three!

I have been meaning to update and write my birth story, but alas, life has been a bit busy lately!

Three kids is busy. It hasn't been too hard yet though. Except I am typing this with one hand because my daughter is asleep on my lap right now...
So it's been a series of adjustments for sure!

I will write out my birth story at some point, just not one-handed. I will say it went exactly how I wanted it to and am so thankful.
We have a beautiful healthy baby girl and her older brother and sister love her. They have adjusted really well.

We are off to baby K's checkup - she's growing like a weed! I'm guessing she's up to almost 12 lbs already!

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Birth plan

I brought my birth plan to my last appointment. I was a bit worried that my Doctor wouldn't agree to everything I had on there. But she agreed to it all and said it looked good.

I had been wishing I had tried to get a midwife again (I wasn't "allowed" when I had my daughter because we lived out of Saskatoon, apparently it's different now) when I had some issues getting in to see my Dr. this past month, but feel good about it now. I really like her and feel comfortable with her. She didn't make it to my last delivery so I'm hoping it will work out this time because I know she knows what I want and will try her best to make sure I have the delivery I want.

I wasn't as adamant the last time, now I know exactly what I want. I'm no expert but after giving birth two times I have a pretty good idea of how things go. And as long as there are no complications, I hope to have a natural birth that goes according to the baby's timing, no one else's.

I do not want to be asked over and over again why I'm not getting an epidural, or coerced into getting artificial drugs to speed things up if they are not going as fast as someone wants them to.
I'm pretty sure this labour won't take very long anyway. I know from last time that my recovery was way better without drugs.
I know that I can do it.
I know that I want my baby put on me as soon as she's born and that all the "washing up" things can wait.
I know that as long as there's no cord trouble we are leaving it for at least three minutes so that she can get all the iron stores her little body will need.

My husband knows what I want and will be a good advocate as well.

I am getting impatient to not be pregnant. I want to meet our baby. I can't wait to see what she looks like.
I will be so happy to not have constant heartburn, and to sleep on my back or stomach. To not be so sore all the time. To be able to walk and not waddle. To hold my big kids on my lap! To be able to cuddle with my daughter and give my son a real hug! And to not be grumpy all the time!

I'm pretty sure my whole family wants this to be over soon too :)

Two weeks (or less)!

Wednesday, March 14, 2012


We are now into year three with no dad. It's hard to explain how it feels. And sometimes I just want to not talk about it at all.

I think I am just pushing emotions away right now because I'm already emotional enough being pregnant and mom to two other kids, trying to keep up my house while running a daycare.
That has been hard and I made the decision to be done a month earlier than I had planned. I'm just so tired. And still feel sick a lot. (so thankful for diclectin!) And we've dealt with some illnesses around here the past month that have been exhausting.

But enough complaining, it doesn't help anything.

I am thankful for friends who call and email and text and pop by and who understand when I can't call back, but love me anyway.
For my kids who love me no matter what, want to be with me even when I'm grumpy.
For a healthy baby growing inside me. (we can't wait to meet you!)
For my husband who has been cooking almost all of our suppers lately and does laundry when I am too tired to walk up and down the stairs and who works hard to take care of us.
For my family who are walking this same road as me and try to stay positive. (and excited for my mom - who just bought a new house!)
For my daycare families who have been so understanding.

That Spring is on it's way! Time to start thinking about flowers (tulips are my fav) and long walks and sunshine and BBQ's and relaxing on our deck!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

One more thing that annoys me...

People posting this statement on Facebook:

"Depression, anxiety and panic attacks are NOT a sign of weakness.

They are signs of having tried to remain strong for too long. Did you know that

1 in 3 of us go through this at some point in our lives? Would you post this on your

wall for at least one day? Most people won't but it's Mental Health Awareness Week.

Share the support! Let those who struggle know they're not alone."

First of all, I've seen this posted many times over the past couple of months. Is it actually

Mental Health Awareness Week? Nope.

When I googled Mental Health Awareness Week - this is the site I found:

So it was Mental Health Awareness Week at a the University of Windsor from January 16-20th.

I also found this:

From that site it says -Mental Illness Awareness Week is September 30 - October 6, 2012.

That one seems like the National site for this.

As someone who has struggled with Depression off and on since I was 18, I find it very frustrating to see that I "tried to remain strong for too long". This is not true!

I had a chemical imbalance in my brain that led me to become depressed. There are factors that triggered it. But that is not always the case.

Mental Illness is a real illness. It is the same as being diagnosed with diabetes or any other disease. It's just not as straight forward to treat or diagnose. It can come and go. Medication does help. And taking it does not make you a weak person.

I really hate the attitude that I tried to stay strong for too long and then basically gave in and let myself become depressed or had a panic attack.

There really is no way to completely understand mental illness unless you've experienced it.But you can learn more about it. And simply putting a status like that up on Facebook doesn't do a whole lot of good.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Things that annoy me (I'm allowed - I'm pregnant)

1. Being called a babysitter. I run a business. It's a daycare. I am 29 years old, not a teenage babysitter.

2. Being asked to supply muffins for the teachers at the school, while running said daycare, while pregnant, on a day when my son is not in school, (and feeling like I cannot say no) when I know there are plenty of other mom's who are not as busy as I am.

3. People assuming because I work at home, I don't actually work.

4. Small children crying outside my door while I try to have some semblance of privacy and go pee.

5. "Window's Technicians" calling at 7:30 in the morning.

6. People assuming because it's been almost 3 years that I am "over" my dad's death. Do me a favour - just imagine your dad died completely unexpected. Think about it for a minute. Then tell me how you might feel... (even three years later)

7. When people call me during drop -off and pick-up times, and wonder why I'm frazzled.

8. Having to confirm appointments I've already made. I should only have to call to cancel. grrr.

9. When people post what they've just Pinned on Facebook. If I wanted to see what you've pinned I would follow you on Pinterest. (I will write a whole post on Pinterest at some point)

10. Spelling mistakes in books and on websites. Especially small business sites - get someone to proofread your stuff!

11. My eye that has been twitching for three days.

Monday, January 23, 2012

money money money

I am trying to put money away each month for when I have no income. But am worried that we aren't going to be able to pay all of our bills come summer.

I would not consider myself someone who is frivolous with money. But I would say we spend what we make for the most part these days. We get the groceries we want (although we need to have a LOT of food when running a daycare), we go out regularly. We bought our kids some toys for Christmas, we have two vehicles that we fill with gas every week and get take-out on occasion (especially these days when I have no energy to cook after a full day with kids)

I do remember what it is like to be poor. To not be able to afford toilet paper or toothpaste or the food you want (meat!) or go out with friends for supper. So I try not to waste money.

We do not have cable, we pay 7.99 for Netflix every month and that is all. We do not have new furniture, neither of us goes for regular haircuts or salon visits, I don't have gel nails, we get hand-me-downs for our kids (still buy the occasional clothing item but not a whole lot), we do not go shopping every weekend or get Starbucks everyday, I didn't buy a whole new maternity wardrobe - I borrowed clothes from friends.

We do not go on holidays every year. We have never been anywhere tropical. However we do go visit family at least every other year in Nova Scotia, but stay with family and apart from flights, don't spend very much money while we are there.

We bought our van second-hand with cash.

I use coupons and usually shop at Costco or Extra Foods (when they have their discount days).

I am seriously considering a diaper service for the baby when she is born. It is $27 a week, which is less than disposable diapers. I know I would not be able to keep up with laundry if I were using my own cloth diapers. I can barely keep on top of laundry right now as it is. So this is a possible option for us. The service is already driving out to where we live, so it would just be one more quick stop for them.

I am running out of ideas though...

I guess I just need to think of more ideas and look at our budget and ways to cut it...

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Another January

6 posts in the last year. That's pretty bad. So I doubt anyone checks this anymore.

Sometimes I miss blogging, other times I just don't care. I really don't have time to just sit down and write, but on the other hand it would probably be good for me to get some thoughts out.

I am halfway through my third pregnancy. I don't remember a lot from my last pregnancy. My dad died when I was at this stage with my daughter.
I measured 6 weeks ahead at my past appointment and apparently did when I was pregnant with my daughter too but have no recollection of this. It's strange and I also feel guilty. With my son I kept track of everything and did for the first part with my daughter but then stopped. I just did not have the energy. And now with this one, I just haven't had time. And honestly sometimes forget that I am even pregnant.

It's hard to believe that in March it will be three years since my dad died. Three years since I saw him, hugged him, heard his voice. It's gone by very fast yet very slow.

Back to present day, I've been running a daycare out of our house since May. It's been good but hard. Lately I have been feeling really cooped up. I think just being stuck inside almost all the time is getting to me. It's been a warm winter, and we have gone outside to play but you still can't be outside all day long. And I won't drive with all the kids. We don't have enough carseats and I don't want that responsibility.
So here we stay, trying to keep the kids entertained with books, colouring, toys and snacks. (and the occasional Sesame Street or Diego episode)

Since I don't qualify for a mat leave, realistically and financially I can only take four months off when the baby comes. This is frustrating as I would love to be able to just have a year at home with just my kids. But we made this choice when I quit my job and we moved into this house. And I am very thankful for the house we live in and everything we have.

It's been nice to have a bathroom on the same floor as our bedroom and to not have to go down a steep of stairs six times a night!

So, not much else going on right now. Trying to figure life out and enjoy it. Trying to not rush through the day so I can go to sleep , but to spend quality time with my children while I only have the two. Trying to be happy with all the blessings I have and not envious of other's lives. Trying to not think too much about all that my dad is missing here on earth.
Trying to love Jesus and not continue questioning why our family has had to go through this heartache. Trying to appreciate that other's have it way worse and we were so lucky to have him for the time we did. Trying to enjoy the family that is here and love them.
I'll keep trying.