Friday, September 18, 2009

Unrealistic expectations:

Just one week later:

Nicole Richie steps out with Harlow one week postpartum —
(copy and paste - I can't get a link to work)

I usually don't read anything that has to do with celebrities - except one blog that always has interesting articles and links. Upon seeing that link I was just a bit irritated. No wonder we have unrealistic expectations of ourselves. If a celebrity can shed her baby weight that fast - so can we! right?
Of course she probably has a nanny to help with the older child. A baby nurse to look after the baby at night. A maid to clean her house. A chef to cook nutritious meals. And a personal trainer to get rid of that baby bulge.
It it ridiculous to expect anyone to be back to "normal" that soon after giving birth. No one should expect it and a celebrity certainly shouldn't be praised for doing it. This just causes us to feel worse about ourselves, which we don't need when we are sleep deprived and hormonal.

Five weeks after giving birth someone commented that when I wanted to start working on my stomach, situps would be useful. Can I just enjoy my baby without having to worry about what my stomach looks like? I was stressed enough. That added pressure didn't help anything and only served to frustrate me.

Of course I would like to be back to "normal" (actually I would like to be back at the weight I was when I was 21. I digress...) But I would like to stay sane in the process.

One nurse said to me "Remember, it takes nine months to gain the weight, so it should take at least nine months to get rid of it." Good advice that every new mom should be given.

The main point (which my aunt is very keen on) is to be healthy. Weight/size shouldn't be the issue. I am breastfeeding (which is a whole other post) and cannot diet.

I know I could be eating a bit healthier but I do a pretty good job most of the time. Eating healthy is a big deal for me because I have a three year old who needs it. (more post material) I get a bit of exercise chasing after my son and going for walks but could be doing more of that too. The thing is having TIME to do it. When both kids are napping (which is a rare occurence) I do not want to be doing situps. I want to read a book or check my email or blog! I want to enjoy my kids, not constantly be thinking about how fat I am when I am holding them or playing with them.

I need to worry less about this. I need to concentrate on being a good mom. I need to just be healthy and not think about what the scale says. I need to remember that my husband doesn't care about the way I look and loves me just as much as he always has and that he is the only one whose opinion I should care about anyway.

I need to remember all of this when I see photos of skinny Hollywood moms. Better yet I need to not even look at the photos.

*for the record*
In the previous blog when stating all of the things that I "should be" I was being caustic. Obviously I don't expect to be any of those things. I was just trying to get the point across that this is what is the perfect mom is. Of course in a perfect world I would like to be all of those things. But I understand that this is unrealistic. Those are the ideal today and I know that no one actually expects me to be any of those things. It is not feasible. There are so many unrealistic expectations out there and I was trying to say that what "society" expects is not reasonable and that striving to be any of those things will only drive you crazy. I was simply feeling overwhelmed with everything that was being pushed at me and felt like I wasn't even coming close to accomplishing a fraction of what I should have.

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