Monday, September 14, 2009

Jumble of thoughts

Feeling a little overwhelmed lately.

I should be:

Model thin already - after all my baby is two months old.

The perfect mother - no yelling, no getting frustrated when I get asked the same question over and over again. My three year old should be a genius. He should be reading and writing books by this point. Or at the very least be able to write his own name. My baby should be on a schedule and sleeping through the night.

A better wife - no nagging, no resentment. I should tell my husband how much I appreciate him going to work everyday to support us. I should cook his favourite foods and iron his shirts and know everything that is going on in his workplace.

A better Christian - we should be attending church every Sunday, (this is the plan but it often doesn't happen) teaching Sunday school and be involved in numerous groups. I should be praising God, not questioning, and not angry.

A healthy person - cooking nutritious meals, getting all the food groups in. No processed foods - just local, organic homemade food.

Taking pictures of my kids daily and documenting everything that they do. Then scrapbooking it all.

Keeping my house clean. And not just regular clean but environmentally clean. No toxins or chemicals - everything I use should be safe and not cause cancer.

My house should be in perfect order - after all I am home all day long. Laundry should be put away and all areas should be dust and clutter free.

I am not any of these things. And striving right now is driving me crazy and only making me more grumpy and less of a good person. I know I will be a better mother and wife if I just relax a bit and not stress about the little things but it is hard when you are bombarded everyday by ads and tv shows telling you that you can have it all.I love my life - I really do. I know how blessed I am, but lately I just feel like I can't keep up. I do not know how people do it.


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  2. Oh Dana, I don't think anyone lives up to that! I know how you feel though, and I have those days too. I don't want to sound like I'm giving trite advice, but I find having the TV off helps. A lot. And just taking a step backward and asking what Jesus requires of me, rather than what the world thinks I should live up to.

    And no one is model thin, especially those who just had a baby two months ago :)

    So nice to see you blogging again. You're a great writer and reading your thoughts is a great window into who you are. And I like who you are, jumbled thoughts included.

  3. hmm...sounds like you are a human being. Hope actually reading this very demanding list of expectations you have of yourself inspires you to be kinder to yourself. I cannot imagine you having expectations like this of others, so maybe you can give yourself a break.

    And as to the model-thin, well - I think you know how I feel about that. You are such a beautiful woman...and I'm not just talkin' inner beauty! I wish for you only happy feelings about your body.