Tuesday, March 16, 2010

babyweight

My aunt sent me a link to this site:
http://theshapeofamother.com/

It inspired me to write this post.

I haven't lost my baby weight. I have stretchmarks lining my stomach and breasts. My stomach is not flat or smooth. My thighs jiggle a bit. My breasts are big and I will never fit the cute little bras I have sitting in the back of my closet again.

But the stretchmarks show where my babies grew inside me. Like a map of the world, they show where I felt little kicks, punches, rolls and hiccups. My breasts are full of milk to give my daughter the nutrients she needs. My arms may not be trim but they are strong enough to carry my children and a diaper bag and the phone all at the same time. My legs carry me quickly when I hear my child calling for me and can still run up the stairs when my son is scared by the monsters in the dark.

I may never fit into my wedding dress again. Or the clothes that I have sitting on the floor of my closet, beautiful clothes that make me sigh when I see them. I will not be twenty pounds lighter when I am a bridesmaid in May, like I tricked myself into thinking was more than doable, it was "healthy". I will NEVER wear a bikini, no matter how many ads tell me I can.

This is me.
If I lose some more weight, fine. I do not need to drive myself crazy to do so.
If not, my husband still loves me. I am healthy. I am alive.
I need to stop comparing myself to others and be happy that my body let me carry two beautiful, healthy, perfect babies.
Those that cannot get pregant would gladly take stretchmarks and saggy boobs if it meant they could carry a baby.
So I will rejoice in my body. The body that God gave me. I will eat healthy food and run around with my children but I will not obsess.

Psalm 139: 13-16

For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.

3 comments:

  1. How powerful this is. It is a challenging journey, this one of body respect. But a journey that is well worth it! Your strength is inspiring.

    I am here, walking this journey beside you - let me know if ever I can do anything.

    much love,
    Syd

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  2. That is so true Dana! I have struggled with some of those same things and have decided to rename stretch marks 'lovemarks'...thanks for posting such an honest post. Many Mommy's have had those same struggles, but oh we love our kids!

    Nicole

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  3. I have never thought of my body that way before. But you're right. I need to stop thinking of it as an enemy. It has done a lot for me, given a lot to me, and instead of seeing it as something to battle against I wonder how my life would change if I would truly think of it as my helper and ally.

    Huh.

    Great post.

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