Motherhood

"Don't have a baby because you want a baby, have a baby because you want to be a parent."

The other night my little sister asked me why I liked being a mom. I didn't know how to answer. Why do I like being a mom? Why did I want to be a mom? Because I love my kids? Because I love taking care of them? Because they are the most wonderful gifts from God? Of course, but her question got me thinking about motherhood.

I have always loved kids. I started babysitting when I was eleven and didn't stop until I had my own kids. My niece was born when I was 16 and I was thrilled. My little sister was born when I was 18 and I was the happiest big sister there ever was. So I thought having my own would be the most wonderful thing in the world. I remember thinking that if I ever got pregnant I would be happy every day of the pregnancy.

It took almost a year for me to get pregnant, at times I wondered if it would ever happen. So,we were a bit shocked when we found out. We were excited and scared. We had very little money and no benefits but knew that things would be okay. And it was. My husband got his present job (with benefits)three weeks after our son was born. Life was great. We loved being parents. We couldn't believe how boring our life was before him. Our son is wonderful. It wasn't all fun though, I have to say the first year after becoming parents was the hardest year of our marriage so far.

Then when our son was two we thought it'd be nice to have another one. Again, it took a long time. The day I went to my Doctor to start fertility treatment (I have pcos) I found out I was pregnant! We were thrilled. Our daughter has been such a gift. I truly believe that I would have let myself sink when my dad died had I not been pregnant. She was our light at the end of the dark tunnel. Watching our children play is one of my favorite things. They love each other so much already. My son gets concerned when she cries, and her little face lights up whenever she sees her brother.

Being a mom is hard. It is full of worry and guilt. It is sleepless nights and anxious days. You wonder if you are doing everything right, if you discipline properly, if your child is well behaved, if your child is eating a proper diet, if they are going to grow up to be caring, loving, well mannered, functioning adults and on and on it goes.

Motherhood is also the best thing in the world. Listening to giggles, getting hugs, being told, "I love you.", hearing your child pray, watching them play and discover the world, being so excited about new things. These are the things that make it all worth it. Seeing my husband's face light up when he looks at our kids gives me joy.

No wonder God used his only son to demonstrate how powerful he loves us. It is a love that is so strong you cannot even describe it. It feels like your heart will burst.

I love being a mom. Why? A million reasons, I'd have to write a book to list them all. It is the best job I've ever had.